Make or Motivate? Navigating the Relationship Between Your Kids & God

There's a fine line between making our kids serve God and motivating them to have a genuine relationship with Him. For parents, and at times youth leaders/children's ministers we often wonder how to navigate the "faith waters" with our kids in a sincere way. We want them to know God, but how far are we willing to go to make sure they do? For all of us, children or adults a personal decision to serve Christ must be made. This is an individual choice, that needs to come from within. But how do we as parents, mentors, leaders help to guide our kids toward making this life-changing choice? Do we make or do we motivate? ​I would argue we need just a little bit of both.  Here's what you need to know: 

1. "Making" is not always negative. The reality is, you are their parents and they are your children. If the car is going to church on Sunday--they're going too. If your five-year old is not getting in the car with you--that may be a subject for another blog! But seriously, children go where their parents go, so if you are a faith-based family your children are going to have exposure to the Lord whether they want to or not. This is where "making" is not necessarily a negative thing. In this case, learning obedience and respect for the culture of the family is natural and a necessary part of their growing up experience. Although we may not give them a choice about participating in church and/or ministry life, our intention is that they will ultimately develop a good relationship with the Lord of their own accord. Lean on Joshua 24:15 if you have to! But don't bend on the core of what makes your family who you are, even if your children don't agree.
2. Lead Them in the Right Direction. Proverbs 22 illustrates just how powerful the right direction can be: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Our takeaway from this is simple: if we do our job as parents and guardians of this generation, they will follow the pattern we've set when they become adults. Give your kids direction, and for the sake of this article, give spiritual direction about how to have a sincere relationship with the Lord. We want our children's faith walk to be deliberate and intentional. And how about, long lasting, enduring? To do this we can't be hesitate to train them in faith and relationship.
3. Teach and Let Them Learn the Way.  We have all heard the saying you can give a man a fish but if you teach a man to fish... I don't think I need to finish that one. Teach Christ and let the gospel speak for itself. God desires His future and His best for your kids--more than you do, more than their pastors and their youth leaders. Show them who He is and allow the Holy Spirit to do what you cannot--lead them to Himself. Teach them about the wisdom of Christ, the power of His gospel, His faithfulness, His history, etc. Allow them an opportunity to seek after and pursue His truth on their own. 
4. Set the standard and Demonstrate its Wisdom. You've got to have standards in your house for how your family will serve the Lord. Set them and and don't apologize. How often will you attend services as a family? Family prayer, worship, devotion, etc.--set those times and stick to what you say. At the same time, demonstrate their wisdom and testify of Christ in how you live as the leader(s) of your family. Your kids need to see you associate your blessings, your breakthroughs and even courage through the trials, with your trust in the Lord and your faithfulness to Him. Demonstrate the wisdom of serving Him and they will draw healthy conclusions about who God is and why they need Him in their lives.
5. Pray Twice As Much. Pray twice as much as you say. We have a lot of wisdom we can give--a lot.  But if you can, pray more than say. Listen, "the weapons of our warfare are not carnal" (2 Cor. 10:4) Remember this truth when helping your kids build their own relationship with the Lord. Declare their future in God in prayer.  Decree genuine relationship, seek God for strategies that are just right for them, and help them discover how to connect with God on their own. Cast off doubt and unbelief. Your prayers are powerful; use them. Resolve to give their salvation to the Lord and trust that He will pull His weight. He wants to draw close to your kids; make sure you give Him the opportunity to do just that.